2013

How do I put this down in words. My love if ever you are being directed to read this page, it prolly means that we are no longer together and I am no longer around. Knowing you three years ago changes my life, to the world I can say that it is for the better. But do you ever consider that to put yourself in my shoes. Changes are things that we can't make effective overnight. Do you know that it hurts .. Real bad.. To be celebrating a three year anniversary with someone who puts you down for almost e whole day. Please don't give me the crap about not planning.. Because never has it been successful for me to plan out anything.. In case you hadnt notice, since our first trip, I stopped planning ... Ever occurred to you why ?? Because while you say it's anything.. But you don't want it at the same time. You are tired you don't wan to plan. How about me ??? For someone who plans program for a living.. It's natural but we also don't want to plan in our personal time. It's just madness. Try asking a chef to cook after working time. Or not to comment on cooking matters.. I do things that makes you happy. But ever occurred that you have not done any ?? Sorry but yes none.. Anything anything anything .. Tt is the best you say to me. But I choose something u get pissed or you prefer another thing. 我真的很累了， 我真的想长眠。。。。

problems

its been almost 1 week since things have turned ugly.

Since last wednesday night, where i tried to settle the office rental amicably with the landlord.

i had to close off the office as operations was just myself and that the company does not have the funding to carry on renting the place.

he rented to me at $1,100 mthly.

he took my company roc details and was to have informed the hdb about him subletting the unit.

in his words, there is only 2 options for me.

A) to find another person to takeover the rental

B) to carry on renting the place from him.

i am amazed at the fact that while he commented himself to be a gentleman and that when we do things as a businessman we must follow law by law. but this is the shocking information i received from hdb. he did not apply or inform hdb at all.

And from him, he stills maintains that he has informed me that he did not inform hdb in regards to renting me the place. next when i mentioned that the agreement has not be signed cos i have not seen it. he mention last time was that oh i submitted information to the lawyer and that i will get it done for you as soon as possible.

And now from him, he denied ever telling me that he has done such matters ie; submitting the information to the lawyers.

which means to say by all records its illegal and its not a agreeable issue. how do i account for it as a businessman? and how do i even get another person to takeover ?

he made it clear that night that i played him out and he will take action.

at the present moment, i have not made the police report because i am not sure what is the nxt best course of action to be taken without harming the relations between me and his son.

up to the present moment, his son has gone thru facebook chat to ask me how am i going to settle and if i am gg to compensate his dad 3mths of rental and pay up the remaining amount. he has tried to call me which i did not pick up the phone (31st January 2011 2 calls) and 6 calls plus an sms ( 1st February 2011) .

i cannot see how do i pay up if they have changed the locks and wants the following as a form of compensation.

1. the partitions to be relinquish to them

2. the air conditioning to be relinquish to them

3. 3mths of rental

4. pay up the january rental

5. lastly to pay the utilities bills (to which i do not have the records at all)

my problems

Of late problems seems to arise like nobody business. I seem to have hit a brick wall.
First is the company, chong nyen left the company and threw everything into my hands. Had to clean his ass for him and ben also give more worse problems. Somehow its very strange the monthly rental and stuff can nvr seem to be settled.
Jus few days ago, i received a call from the client that a project has been confirmed shock and pleased. But chong nyen and ben submitted this project without my knowledgr and top it off a project that we can handle but not financially.
Begged and pleaded with ppl for help and finally i got 3.5k i. Funding but here comes the next problem i still needed another half. Fucking hell.
Call ben last night told him the problems and that he need to stand out and settle. Kind of bad and cruel of me to push him to the edge no choice but its the fact of life.
He came out with the 3.5k upon me forcing it down his throat made him give up his last yr allowances for his unsatisfactory job done. Seems harsh and it hurts me for doin so but no choice.

Bb volunteer.to lend me the money initially to tide over the project. But knowing that she herself has problems of her own too i decided not to even use it. Had to resort to forcing ben. She seems very upset that i did not take up her help. But i really cant bear to do tt to her. Finances of the company is quite direct. Client pay moneys comes in but its drags you see.

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3months

Its been three months... Its not short but i must say time really pass darn quickly.
Everytime i see her i known tt my listening skills are close to zero and my sensitiveness isnt any better. I try my best i honestly do. Because somehow or rather i can tell that my gf has not stolen my heart but just melted away whatever that is negative and has been fillin in with positiveness.
I am really glad to have courted her and won her over.
Today we went for dinner and caught a movie.
Oddly i was lost in thinkin wat to do as usual. But once i got on the train i knew instinctively that watching a movie will be meaningful to a certain extent. Our first date was watchin step up 3, yes i kissed her in the cinema. Today i brought her to watch rapunzel. Hearing her laughter, brought me much joy. Oh well i guess jurong point is gg to stay as a significant part of my life.

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distractions in life....

Its true that to ucceed you need to have no distractions. It is inveitable that one will have tons of it. Its jus how to step away from it. Will there be a saviour for my soul. I want to concentrate to finish up my studies but. The heavy burden of the school fees is killin. I wan to make my company a success but the results are so limited. Personal load of poor financial planning. I want to let my gf have a easy life but den again its soo toturing. I cant seem to have anythin easy.
Why o why

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my girlfriend

Knowing her changed me.
From one who loves the bottle to one who does not drink.
From one who chain smokes all the time to one who smokes once or twice a week.
From one who blast off immediately to one who really curbs the temper.
From one who does not think twice on splurgin to one who uses a spreadsheet to count and check for the cheapest price available.
I dunno why i dunno how and why.... Perhaps like the tv shows... Love changes everything...

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wat a day...

And it was supposed to be a special day....
Erm i am the guy in the rs but yet i am feelin tt i am being treated like a rag doll...
Come on. . I am not the one who hurt you... Why treat me so..

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wat can i do???

Up at this unearthly hour becos of work stress. ... Honestly while ben and chong nyen has been a great and tremendous support. I have yet to see chong nyen taking an active role. I meant ground ops of cos. Tis is really a stressful period.
I dunno but i jus hope my gf will understand ba...

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你可知我心

I would want to type out what i feel in chinese just like you did. but i am soo lazy to install the chinese program.
oh well, i may not be as sensitive as other guys that you have known and i can be very blunt. perhaps its just because i don't see the need to hide and be soo pretentious in front of my girlfriend. As a normal human being, how can you take it if your partner is meeting his/her ex for dinner ??
no matter, what happens or how busy i am... i do my best to dig out my time for you ??
answering your calls, i never ever not answered your calls...
yes i am in the water i cant pick it you... you know it
yes i am in a meeting i will answer and tell you i call you back in a while. ..
it hurts me a hell lot to see you saying tt i will respond to a work call faster than i respond to you...

being honest.....

I want to be honest and truthful to you in whatever that happens....
But everytime telling you the truth justs makes me feel that i am worse than shit... Shld i just stop short of being bare? if you tell me that you cant trust and so much more... Seriously... How do you think i feel? ??

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post event thoughts...

My prized child has completed 2 events for the day..
Morning we had unilever for a private dragonboat race.
They were superb lively bunch of fellas.
Hiccups were bound to have happen and of cos thats where everyone draws his or her personal learning exp.
Mentally and emotionally draining for me cos i was trying to run the show with minor assistance and yet had to see if ppl can step up to the leadership role. Unfortunately i think its a long way.
Coming to the afternn session, ogilvy and mather accts servicing dept truly a wonderous chums too. They weren't into a real session of bonding but i must say taking them out for a short trip is GOOD!!! The ladies were quite jovial and erm i gotta admit the 4 gentleman in the group were REAL GENTLEMAN... They carried all the heavy load and not a word of complaint. If its our own ppl i think die la....
Girls will be. .. Guys will be like a freakin piece of blockwood...

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angsty

I think i nvr slpt enough later... And with the workload piling for the mth. Oh boy i am reali freakin angsty and worse of all flaring up pretty fast. Need to slp tonite.

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Wat the Hell is wrong with me ?its jus a simple promise. such a simple condition. if i have lost her, i think i jus deserve it . Although i can seriously say it has nvr ever been my intention to let her go. ...

p. hantu trip

It was a lovely trip aside from the little hiccup (the call tt made me slpless lol). As i laid in my bed swinging myself to slp i felt the stress factors got swung out in a very lullaby manner. Wat made it beta was the very fact that the awe of the sunrise rejunvenated me totally.
I love the trip. It was splendid and wonderful

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Trip to P.hantu

First time going over to hantu. Wats nice to know is there is alot of babes. But wats not nice to know is my gf back out of the trip and its not any better when no one there you know well enough.
At this moment, i am makin the trip still is just solely based on the fact tt its a semi work trip.

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I got a feelin...

Weird and funny...

suddenly so close, suddenly so nice...

this is what she said to me...

hmm haven counted yet but over 100 smses at the very least for a 12hrs time period hmm

more to come and soon to come..

The Last Post for the Year 2009

This is going to be a post that goes in a rush and at the spur of the moment. ...

So many things happened this year...

Well of cause just like life there were ups and downs, I had my fair share of both too.

Starting with school, knowing the lovians, Student Councillors (Canni, Jinhao, Winston and many others who have left a mark in my life).

The rest i never put up their pictures cos its all on facebook. lolz

Attending so many wedding dinners till i also blur liaoz.

This year i will be counting down in a cinema @ Tiong Bahru; watching sherlock holmes with meishan and her friend andrew.

Lastly this is the best gift of the year, the arrival of Merisse, my sweet and beloved niece.

Byes 2009 for now ...

deep thoughts

today i told my kai ma (she is the one from scouting and yes i have alot of kaima).

i look not for the moment but for the future.

i give not to pass the day but to survive the lifetime.

we were discussing about a possibility to start a non profit organisation in china. and i felt that if we were to start up something for the countryside kids.

we should look at providing some things for the kids - giving a form of education be it academic or sports.

even if its some thing i cant give for my enternal life.

leaving Singapore Island Country Club

People who knows me well enough.

will know that i love kids and teaching swimming.

teaching swimming has always been something close to my heart. being able to play and teach the kids a new skill is something that i have always treasured no matter how mischievous or irritating they can be.

It really pains me to make the decision today to leave the club, to leave coaching of swimming.

but i need to be realistic too, i cannot stay on at a place where there is no decent respect for a coach who have dedicated his time and effort to teach.

Even right now, as i am typing this blog it hurts me deep inside to have left the students in the lurch. it is really never been part of my intention to throw the kids away.

My dear students, please forgive me, your coach.

Expedition to Kranji Dam

This was a crazy and problematic session. correction its 2 sessions

I went to JBAC for kayaking session with NYJC yesterday.

I was informed only the night before by the boatman that we were possibly chaperoning the students who might be attempting to go to the causeway and that they are all NOOB. It was totally scary to think about it man.

but lucky in the morning, the teacher told us that oh they have decided not to go so far. PHew...

they were crawling slow...

The afternoon session were not anywhere beta BUT we tried KAYAK SURFING

haha

it was the real crazy fun.

imagine you are sitted in your kayak and the speedboat towed you. the feeling was great, superb and hell i am still feeling the high of it.

to think of it if not for lending my camera to my sister. arghz i would have posted the photo here.

CRAZY SHIT but HELLUVA FUN ...